until Texas vs Kansas

Tuesday, October 18


Who's got the worst mascot?

ATL readers: we want your help picking out the worst mascot/surname in all of college sports. Inspired by the dumbass tree of Stanford, I’ve been trying to think of other equally awful mascots and surnames.

The big puffy Orange of Syracuse is ridiculously lame.

That hapless leprechaun that hops around Notre Dame games is part mega-creepy, part retarded.

If you’ve ever been unfortunate enough to go to an Oregon game, you know all about the psycho Donald Duck look-a-like. And the horrific duck calls. And the ugly colors. Geez, add it all up and Oregon may be our winner.

I can’t say that the raging inbred freak that West Virginia trots out on the football field is particularly inspiring. I mean, come on, at least try to pretend you’re not a redneck. Embracing it? Yikes.

We would be remiss if we didn't gig Texas A&M in this space. The only thing worse than the school's surname is its football team.

Alas, while all the aforementioned are worthy nominees, there simply cannot be a worse name than the Fighting Rainbows of Hawaii. I think of rainbows, I think of Care Bears. There’s simply no place for rainbows in sports of any kind. Not even women’s sports.

Time for the readers to weigh in. Cast your vote for the worst mascot in college sports, or nominate another of your own.

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As much as I despise the Sooners (who name just indicates cheating) and the Aggies (who's pseudo-military is frightening), the dumbest, and I mean DUMBEST mascot has to be the Red Raider of Texas Tech. First off, how does the WB allow that Yosemite Sam knockoff to go unsued? And what are the Raiders exactly raiding? The color red? Fine, take the color.

As for Stanford, they're the cardinals, so why is their mascot a tree? That'd be like making UT's mascot a barn or A&M's mascot their sister's bed.
As far as mascots, these are the worst ones:

Stanford's Tree
Cal's Bear that looks more like a dog with Downs Syndrome
The West Virginia Mountaineer
OU's Chuck Wagon
and pretty much any mascot with a live person involved (ND, WVU, USC)

As for nicknames, these are terrible:

Any nickname that is a color (Harvard, Stanford, Alabama)
OU's Sooners (which apparently means "Cheaters")
All of those "Aggie" schools (UC Davis, Utah St, Texas A&M)...they might as well have banjo music playing whenever they announce their names

Some that I found amusing:

Wichita State Shockers
Central Arkansas women's teams are called the "Sugar Bears"
and Long Beach St recognizes their baseball team's nickname of "Dirtbags"
Oregon’s mascot is hideous, lame and the product of a faceless corporation (Nike). I guess they had to go with something, since Beavers was already taken.

What about the Michigan State Spartans? Who names their mascot after a group of militant homoerotic gay pedophiles?
Funniest. Comment. Ever.
You really can't beat the Rainbows. Though that Stanford tree is ridiculous. Although, it was a part of a really funny SportsCenter commercial.
As a Longhorn in the Bay Area, let me tell you, there is nothing more depressing than a Stanford home game. I was pretty geeked up before going to my first game there, because after all, that's where Elway and Plunkett played, and they even had a Super Bowl there not too long ago.

But it just ...sucked. The tree is just the beginning. Instead of cheerleaders, they have a ragtag bunch of hippies who are literally wearing torn rags. They don't to any actual cheers, they just flail around like they're having freaky acid trips or something. The stadium is at least 2/3 empty, and nobody gives a damn. I think that's really the worst of it.
To the idiot who posted about Stanford - they are not the Cardinals. They are the Cardinal. As in - an abstract concept... (Like a rule or a standard)... The mascot is stupid, but the person who misunderstood the mascot is even stupider.

Oh, what about TCU's Horned Frog? It looks like some kind of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle on crack.
For the "idiot" who referred to the other person as an "idiot":

They ARE the Cardinal, but it is not an "abstract concept (Like a rule or a standard)," it is a COLOR. From Stanford's website:

"Cardinal has been the color of Stanford athletic teams since 1892 and was adopted in 1972 as the official name for Stanford sports."

I guess now you can live up to your own quote that said, "The mascot is stupid, but the person who misunderstood the mascot is even stupider."
A color IS an abstract concept. But, alas, no more arguing. No grammar wars allowed on this board. Further arguments will be deleted.
Since we seem to have let up on them for a while...

How about being named after a brand of condoms?

"The USC Condoms: Just About Ready To Break"
This post reminds me of the factiod used during ABC's Texas-Colorado broadcast. They showed all the teams with live mascots, and of course Bevo and Ralphie were at the top of the list.

As far as the worst, this experience comes courtesy of Texas' opponent this week, the Texas Tech Red Raiders:

From http://www.campuslife.ttu.edu/MaskedRider/history.asp

The most recent tragedy relating to the Masked Rider tradition was the death of the mascot, Double T, during the Sept. 3, 1994 football game against New Mexico—the day Amy Smart debuted the new Masked Rider saddle. According to the Sept. 4, 1994, issue of the Lubbock Avalanche-Journal, "as Double T rounded the northwest corner of the stadium in a clockwise motion, the saddle appeared to slip to the left, and Smart (the Masked Rider), a Dallas junior, was thrown to the track. The riderless horse then bolted back toward the west sideline as fans, players and officials scurried toward the south end of the stadium, and turned into the southwest ramp when it slipped and struck its head on the cement wall."

Smart wasn't seriously injured, but the horse died instantly. Students, fans and Masked Rider committee members were shocked and saddened by the event. No measures were taken to punish Smart. Lisa Gilbreath, Masked Rider the year prior to Smart, echoed the thoughts of many when she called the tragedy a freak accident and nothing more.
I really can't decide if UC Santa Barbara has the coolest or worst mascot of all time. I'm still on the fence. The Banana Slugs? Definitely original, but there are just too many falic jokes available for this one. Maybe UCSB is a sister school of The fighting condoms of USC?
It's UC SANTA CRUZ, not Santa Barbara. Geez -- get your hippie schools straight.
i thought Hawaii changed their nickname from "Rainbow Warriors" to "Warriors."
They did. They should now go from Warriors to Ultimate Warriors. Think how freakin' cool their uniforms would be...

- Eric
If we want to go down to high school, New Braunfels is the Unicorns.
There are a bunch of smaller schools with stupid/crazy nicknames. Here is a fairly complete list:

And UCSB's mascot is the Gaucho, which I remember being some type of sandwich cookie.
By coincidence, I happen to have taken a few moments to mock and belittle Texas Tech's "Masked Rider."

If you're interested in reading about the Red Raiders' lame mascot on the eve of the Texas-Texas Tech game, visit Kyle on Football.

The Texas Tech-bashing begins immediately after my BlogPoll roundtable response.
Come Visit Santa at his blog and tell him what you want for Christmas,
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