until Texas vs Kansas

Wednesday, October 26


Week 9 Picks: Lack of Consensus Edition

We bring back the weekly picks with two new guest handicappers. Thanks again to Alex and Michael for their picks last week. This week we bring in Andrew Windler, better known on this blog as “The Other Andrew,” and lovingly referred to today as Funniest Commenter Awardee. Also joining in on the picks this week will be Joe Newberry. Why? Because he’s getting married on Saturday, and for Christ’s sake, the man needs a distraction or two.

On to the games. (AW=Andrew Wiggins; TOA=The Other Andrew)

Top BCS Threat Game of the Week
Boston College +13.5 @ Virginia Tech
PB—VT won ugly vs MD last week; BC won ugly vs Wake last week. Hokies should rebound this week. Pick: Virginia Tech
TR— Remember the first rule of college football: All unbeatens eventually lose unless they are really, really good. FSU wasn’t, and they lost. VaTech isn’t, either. Is this their week to lose? Taking the points here is easy. Look into the money line, too. Pick: BC
AW—The Hokies won’t play bad at home. They hold on this week to set up a scary one next weekend. Pick: Virginia Tech
JN—I hate VT. Beamer ball is one of the most hyped clichés in college football. Did you know that Texas has more blocked kicks that VT since 2000? UT (35) VA Tech (32). Pick: B.C.
TOA— I heard Michael Vick has a brother that plays for Va Tech. If that’s true, and I’m not saying it is,
my pick is Va Tech

Consensus: Virginia Tech (3 votes to 2)

Top These Used To Be Good Programs Game of the Week
Oklahoma +1.5 @ Nebraska
PB—Lines like this one hammer home the depth of the Big 12 plunge. I don’t see much offense here.
Pick: Nebraska
TR— While staying home sick from work on Monday I accidentally stumbled upon the Bob Stoops coach’s show, where they went over the highlights of OU’s 2OT win over Baylor. This was classic TV, showing just how far OU has fallen.
Pick: Nebraska
AW—Peterson will play and play well.
Pick: Oklahoma
JN—Bomar gained some awesome experience playing against a great Baylor team… Both teams suck here. Pick: Oklahoma
TOA—If Eric Crouch plays well in this game, he’s a lock for the Heisman. I don’t see how anyone in the Big 12 North can unseat Nebraska (ever!). Pick: Oklahoma

Consensus: Oklahoma (3 votes to 2)

Top Big 10 Game of the Week
Ohio State -4 @ Minnesota
PB—The Buckeye offense is starting to come around. They’ll finish this year like they did last year. Pick: Ohio State
TR— Home dog in the unpredictable Big 10 is too tempting to pass up. Pick: Minnesota
AW—I still think the Buckeyes are the best team in the Big 10. They survive a close one. Pick: Ohio State
JN—I like the home Big Ten getting the points. Pick: Minnesota
TOA—Maroney will be handling both the deep snapping and the punting duties after last week’s debacle.
Pick: Ohio State

Consensus: Ohio State (3 votes to 2)

Top Best Named Game Of The Week
Georgia +4 vs Florida
PB—Shockless dogs face biteless Gators. What gives? Leak looks lost.
Pick: Georgia
TR— No Shockley, no chance for Georgia. Gators big. Pick: Florida
AW—This line should raise some eyebrows. Yeah, Florida seems to own the Dawgs. Yeah, Shockley is out. Georgia’s defense keeps them close. Pick: Georgia
JN—Biggest Cocktail Party EVER!!!! My initial reaction was to go with Florida, which of course means I should pick GA. Pick: Georgia
TOA—They need to rename this The World’s Largest Keg Party. Honestly, how many Cosmos and Mojitos do you think they have at Billy Joe Gator’s tailgate? Pick: Florida

Consensus: Georgia (3 votes to 2)

Top Mismatch Game of the Week
Texas -36.5 @ Oklahoma State
PB—We beat Tech by 35. Les Miles still sucks, even if he’s gone. Pick: Texas
TR— Spread is too high. Mack doesn’t run up the score, and playing on the road, he’ll shut things down once the Horns get comfortably ahead. Pick: OSU (Texas by 28)
AW—I can’t see OSU scoring more than 10. Horns roll, again.
Pick: Texas
JN—Ok. State is horrible this year, but why is the line only 36.5? I think this is a trap. If Vegas thought this was going to be a blowout, the line would be –60. Horns win by 35. Pick: Ok. St.
TOA—Lost in all the gambling madness is the fact that Joe is getting married on a game day. I hope you’re going to put a big plasma screen on the crucifix so it looks like Jesus is watching the game. The Virgin Mary weeps for OSU’s defense.
Pick: Texas

A True Longhorn Fan Wedding

Consensus: Texas (3 votes to 2)

Top Try to Figure Out the Pac 10 Game of the Week
UCLA -7.5 @ Stanford
PB—UCLA refuses to blow anyone out. That said, they’re just getting better.
Pick: UCLA
TR— UCLA can see its perfect matchup with USC from here. Pick: UCLA
AW—Does Stanford have enough offense? No. Do they have any offense? No. Pick: UCLA
JN—Stanford coming off a big win v. Az. St., but UCLA is FO REAL. Pick: UCLA
TOA— Any D-1A team (Stanford) that loses to a D-1AA team (UC-Davis) doesn’t really deserve to be talked about.
Pick: UCLA

Consensus: Mortal Lock of the Week—UCLA (5 votes to 0)

TOA - A game day on an away game...The madness that goes into scheduling a wedding around the Texas Football Schedule is something that I wish on no one, yet if any of you fags ever get married, you too will face this task if you choose to have a fall wedding.....TR, your commentary is eerily similar to mine for the Minny and Tx games.

It's cause we're both know-it-all pimps.
Thanks for the (semi-) props to UCLA...I hope you guys don't jinx them this week. By the way, they've blown out 4 of the 7 teams they've played, including last week's 51-28 beatdown of Oregon St.

I think Texas will be up by more than 36.5 during the game, but since Nordgren will probably play the 4th quarter, and we can put in our cheerleaders to play defense, we might end up winning by about 35.
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True UT Football fans get married on a by week or in the spring, but not march.
I guess it also depends on whether said True UT Fan's wife is also a True UT Fan.
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