until Texas vs Kansas

Monday, October 3


Dear Oklahoma,

I know how you feel this week. That sense of dread. That sense of helplessness. You look for a slimmer of hope, yet you cannot find one.

It’s like a train coming around the bend. You can hear it. And you know that you are standing on the tracks. There’s nowhere to go.

You are going to lose.

You know it. We know it. Your players, fans and alumni know it. You’ll say otherwise to everyone you talk to this week, but deep down, you know.

It’s going to get ugly, too. You’re not going to lose on a fluke play. You’re not going to lose on a last-second kick or a bad call. Whatever the oddsmakers set as a point spread, it’s going to be worse. Much worse.

We are going to have our way with you. When we feel like throwing, we will. When we feel like running it down your throat, we will. Because we can, and there’s nothing you can do to stop us.

Your coaches and players will give interviews about how in years past things have been different. About how we haven’t done squat against you for five years. Those words will be ring true, and you’ll start to feel better about yourself.

But talk is cheap, and you know it. That history will mean nothing once the football is kicked off at noon on Saturday. All that will matter is that the team lining up on the other sideline is superior to you in every way.

We’re loaded this year. We’re not planning on losing to anyone, much less your unranked squad. We’re not scared, like we admittedly may have been in the past. Our leader, No. 10, has changed everything.

He cannot wait to add your hapless defense to his personal highlight reel. When he’s in New York in two months, you’ll have the opportunity to recall some of the great plays from Saturday’s game.

Please, if you have any sense, sell your tickets now. Do not drive to Dallas. Save the gas money. Better yet, send it to the Red Cross to aid hurricane victims. Because spending it on traveling to this game would be a colossal waste.

There’s nothing fun about sitting in the stands during the second half when the other team is ahead by 30 points. Trust us, we know. You’ve done it twice to us. But you know what they say about paybacks.

I hope you enjoyed your run of dominance over us, because it’s over. Officially, you have six more days to brag, but come Saturday, with apologies to Jimmy Buffett, things will certainly not be alright.

For us, they will be outstanding. And for you, well, you already know how this songs ends. With the Eyes of Texas blaring gloriously for all of Texas to hear.



I wonder if Michigan State fans wrote a similar letter to the Wolverines last week...

I'm optimistic about this game, but it still scares me. It's Oklahoma. The team we haven't beaten in five years.

Have no fear. Vince has no fear, so neither do I. Trust in Vince. If we can win in the 'Shoe, we can win in the Dump (Cotton Bowl).
These words bring a feeling to my heart, a greater feeling than seeing all those buckeye fans wearin 47 and 7 jerseys walk out of the 'Shoe. I have been waiting five years (since my first red river shootout, 2000, ugh) to laugh and belittle those smug oklahomans. And now that time has come. Hook Em Horns and get ready for "The Vince Show" on saturday.
You mean all of that time spent bedazeling upside down Longhorns and Tuck Fexas on my red shirt was for nothing?
"You're" means "you are," "Your" means "belonging to you." Just a little grammar lesson from someone who is anal like that (and loves the Horns).
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